NEED
By Adam Lovingood
Copyright 2002

Sarah picked up the phone with a trembling hand astounded that, as long as she had been doing this, she still got nervous. She glanced over the list of names in her also trembling left hand locating the first one that wasn't crossed through. When this all had first started so many years ago, she had ruled never to tread the same path twice. But so many of the paths intersected that she wasn't sure how much sense the rule made any more and, now looking over the shrinking geography, she didn't know how much longer she could abide by her first law of navigation.

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, she dialed quickly while her courage was intact and before she concluded to wait until later in the day or until tomorrow. Three rings sounded and then, "Hello?"

"Aunt Rhee, it's Sarah."

"Why, Sarah! How are you? We missed you at the reunion last month."

"I know. I'm sorry. I so wanted to be there, but one of the babies was sick." Sarah engaged in the obligatory few minutes of catch-up talk that she always allowed before unveiling her reason for calling.

"Aunt Rhee, I....I really hate to have to ask you this, but...do you think that perhaps I could borrow a few dollars? It'd only be for a few days. Dan'll get his check next week, and then I can give it all back. With interest even. You know I ain't looking for no handout."

Listening intently, Sarah detected in the silence the knowing and disapproving air that she always expected and dreaded but had never encountered before today.

"I reckon I've been waiting to see when I'd get this call. How much do you need?" "Fifty dollars." Sarah felt her spine turn to ice, and she instinctively tightened her grip on the phone's receiver.

"All right. I'll send you a check. But you know, darling, you was raised better than this. Your mamma, ....I can't imagine her ever doing anything like this. I know you got a lazy, lay-about husband, but they ain't no sin in being poor." Sarah could imagine her Aunt Rhee's ears turning red and twitching under her gray hair pulled back taut the way they did when she became upset. A trait Aunt Rhee shared with Sarah's mother, Aunt Rhee's sister.

"Being poor ain't shameful when you know what you are and act like you know. And you remember the Bible says, 'Neither a borrower nor a lender be.' The sin ain't in being poor. The sin is in squandering what little you do have and borrowing from others to make do."

"Yes, ma'am. I know. It's just the babies...."

"I know all about the babies. And if they wasn't no babies, I wouldn't be doing this. I reckon that the Good Lord'll overlook one transgression if it'll help out some little ones that's innocent in all this. But this is the only time. Next time you'll have to root hog or die. Kiss the babies for me."

After hanging up the phone, and before she started to cry, Sarah put a crudely drawn star beside Aunt Rhee's name to remind her not to call her again. She sobbed softly trying not to wake the babies.